Is it time for a rest?
You work hard.You try to stay on top of the endless list of tasks that comes across your desk. You spend years trying to be a good student, a good worker, a good artist, a good partner, a good parent.
You hear a constant barrage of all that needs done in order to meet this elusive qualification, this being 'good enough'.
You learn, you read, you do more.
You want to measure up. You want to meet demands. You want to make it. You want... to matter.
So you keep doing. Responding to others' expectations and needs. Trying to fulfill your own.
You're tired. But you keep going. After the next thing, you say to yourself, and then the next. Then you'll take a break.
You don't want to disappoint anyone, least of all yourself.
But meanwhile, you're not having any fun. Maybe you're sick. You don't have time to see your friends, play with your kids, create for only yourself.
You hear yourself complain. About all that needs doing and won't ever get done.
You're running a race and there's no end in sight.
STOP! You can hear in the distance. First in whispers then shouts.
Your heart is heavy. Your body is weary.
You're already there. The race that you're running is with only yourself.
You already matter. You've already made it. You're already good enough. Even if you never did another thing. Even if you never lived up to endless expectations.
You don't believe these words. The dictator in your mind says 'ignore them, march on'.
But something tugs at you. And you crawl into bed and let sleep overcome you.
You feel naughty. Like you've let someone down.
But the world keeps spinning.
And when you awake you can hear it more clearly. Rest, it says. Heal, it pleads. Get out of the race and meander and play. Allow your soul to dance, to sing, to frolic in what most delights it.
Taking a break will nourish and reconnect you to what truly matters. To how you matter. To how you are enough, just as you are. And to how creating and moving forward in the world with peace and love instead of frantic action will sustain you at a deeper level than you could ever imagine.
Can you hear it? Is it time for a rest?
I write to share my journey and to offer insight for yours. It has become increasingly clear as I move through my second pregnancy that my body is weary and my wells need replenishing.
And so, I have made the decision to take a sabbatical and extended maternity leave, that I may receive nurturing and nourishment from deep rest as I bring another soul into the world. I will return in 2017.
From my heart to yours,
Angela
